How to Fight Fair
April 30th, 2008 admin
Helping engaged, pre-engaged, or recently married couples develop a strong foundation for a healthy, happy marriage.
A Cord of Three Strands is a faith-based, preparatory program designed to help engaged, pre-engaged, or recently married couples develop a strong foundation for healthy, happy marriage, built around husband, wife, and God. Using lecture and discussion, the prep for marriage course helps couples learn about each other while focusing on communication skills, conflict resolution, financial management, and both sexual and spiritual relationships.
Communication
April 21st, 2008 adminLast Wednesday on the Internet LifeChurch.tv “Preparing for the Marriage of a Lifetime” class we talked about communication. There are different types of communication, but no matter whether we are talking about a serious topic or simply in casual conversation, we want to be heard. When we are heard we feel closer to the other person and feel affirmed. When we feel we are not heard, we can feel distant and that what we said was not important to the listener. So, what is our solution? Get away from distractions! Distractions can be the TV, music, kids, books, newspapers - you get the idea. Distractions are anything that interferes with communication. Sometimes the biggest distraction is in our own head. We can think five times faster than someone can talk, so what we do with this extra time is very important. Obviously, there are times we cannot do anything about distractions. We can’t just send the kids off because we need to talk. We may have to wait until they are in bed before we can sit down and communicate. Some distractions are easier to take care of. It may simply mean turning off the TV or putting down the newspaper. The bottom line is this: 1. Communication between couples is essential and has to be a priority. 2. Eliminating distractions sets the stage for good communication and lets the other person know how important they are to you. Last week I asked the class this question, “What is different about the person you are taking this class with than anyone else you ever dated?” If you are in a relationship headed toward marriage, this is a great question to ask. Here are some of the answers I received: “He has a giving spirit.” “I can say anything to her and not be judged.” “He is a believer.” “Trust.” “Complete openness and honesty.” “She listens to my rant.”
What would you say?
Trusting God
April 14th, 2008 adminMany of us have a difficult time trusting God because we really do not know who He is. We put attributes on God that do not belong. Sometimes our distorted image of God comes from our life experiences. Sometimes it is from wrong teaching. Whatever the source, it keeps us from embracing God and all He has for us. Almost everyone has prayed for something and wondered why God did not answer our prayer. Depending on the situation, this can have a huge impact on us. We may think that God does not really care about us, or that we have made God mad at us, or that God is really not there. Our image of God can be affected by our fathers. If you had a father that was never there for you, or was unpredictable, or was always angry, it may affect the way you look at God. In other words, if our father on earth was not trustworthy, how can we trust God our Father who we have never seen? I would never pretend to understand all about God but let me tell you what I do believe. Number one: God loves us. I accept this because Scripture tells us it is true. Over time I have experienced God’s love in remarkable ways. Sometimes we just need to accept something as true even though we don’t really “feel it.” The feeling will come. I promise you. Number two: God hurts when we hurt. Jesus came in the flesh to live among us. In the thirty-three years of His life he was tortured, whipped, tormented, betrayed, spit on, and ridiculed. He experienced the death of one He loved. He was tempted. Whatever we experience, He has also experienced it. He can identify with us, and so we can turn to Him and know without a doubt that He understands - He deeply understands. Number three: God grieves with us. I do not know why bad things happen to good people. I do not know why God allowed 9/11 or the OKC bombing or Hurricane Katrina. I just do not know. What I do know is that God was and is there to help us through everything that we face. There are those I spent time with after the OKC bombing that would tell each of us that the only way they made it through the aftermath of that horrific event was by letting God in to walk through it with them.Trusting God is an act of faith. Beth Moore says it so well in her study “Believing God.” If my memory is right, she teaches these five affirmations: 1. God is who He says He is. 2. God can do what He says He can do. 3. I am who God says I am. 4. I can do all things through Him. 5. I am believing God. For me, the bottom line is this: When I pray I believe with all my heart, mind, and soul that God can and will answer that prayer - but if He does not, He is still my God and He still loves me. He is God and I am not. In this life I will not understand fully the ways of God, but He never changes. He is worthy of my trust - and yours.
LifeChurch.tv Internet Campus Class
April 11th, 2008 adminOur first Internet “Preparing for the Marriage of a Lifetime” class began on Wednesday April 2. The class meets at 8 P.M. Central time. The couples are from California, New York, Connecticut, Texas, and Oklahoma. I am excited about this class and what God is going to do with it and in the lives of these couples. One thing I see already is a willingness to be transparent that I have not seen in our weekend or eleven-week classes. I really think these couples will go deeper in their relationship than most couples do in our other formats. This class seems to provide a “safe” venue for couples to be more open. Last Wednesday we looked at Biblical Roles and then asked the question, “What barriers do you see in becoming the husband or wife that God intends you to be?” Here are some of our responses: some of the women shared that it might be difficult to let their husbands lead - especially those who had been in a relationship where the male abused this role or if they had been single and self sufficient for some time. We talked about God equipping us for these roles and that it is impossible for us to fulfill the role without God’s help. For some it is difficult to trust God. God has been misrepresented to many of us, and so the idea of trusting Him can be very frightening. Some of the men expressed their concerns of not knowing how to lead. Overall some very important issues were brought up. I want to begin to address some of these as we begin to work through them. That is what we will do next time.
