May 19th, 2008 admin
Somewhere along the road, God’s beautiful plan for sex got hijacked, and we have been searching for sexual fulfillment ever since. One of our many problems concerning sex is that we search for answers in all the wrong places, and we come away unfulfilled over and over again. So how do we get there? Let’s start with this Biblical premise. God invented sex. The sexual relationship was part of His design. Look at how he created our bodies. A lot has to happen physiologically for sex to occur. It was not some accident that God did not see coming. It was one of His many gifts to us. The problem comes because we want to have it our way and not God’s way. Did you ever ask yourself the question, “Could God really want us to have fun in sex and enjoy it?” The answer is YES!!! So, if there is really this great gift of sex from God out there for us, let’s talk about how to get it by looking at the first building block to sexual intimacy. It is companionship. Real companionship. Not like you and your dog companionship. This is companionship that is built over time with a member of the opposite sex. As you get to know each other better, it begins to happen. It is a depth of knowledge about each other. It embraces both the pretty parts and the ugly parts. You know you have arrived when that person does something that would have made you run away from a relationship in the past. Instead of running, you stay. I remember the first time that happened with me as Nancy and I were dating. I not only did not leave, I did not even think about leaving, and the same happened to her. We knew each other at an incredible depth of openness and transparency, and we both decided to stay. The first building block is when you decide to stay instead of running. You stay because you want to stay. You stay because you want to be with that person and choose to be with that person, no matter what. That is companionship, and it is essential to sex God’s way.
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
May 12th, 2008 admin
No matter how or where we have been raised, it seems that we all bring sexual baggage into marriage. I grew up during the early years of the “sexual revolution.” For some reason, I believed all the stories that the older guys told in the locker room about their sexual exploits. I had no idea that the new prevailing philosophies about sex were far from God’s design. Nancy was raised with the goal of staying pure till marriage. It was an admirable goal, but she accomplished this by seeing sex as bad and dirty. By the time we got to our wedding night, we were a sexual nightmare.
Honestly, the church has not done a very good job of teaching God’s design either. The Puritans taught that sex was for procreation and procreation only. In other words, have sex but don’t dare enjoy it.
Sex is not just a physical act. It is a oneness and a mystery, and our culture - including the church - is missing that. It touches our soul in an incredible way. Those who have suffered the pain of rape, molestation, or incest will tell you that sex is not just a physical act. If it were, the healing process would not take so long and be so painful. Long after the physical healing is done damage remains. Those who have married one of these victims know the difficult process of emotional healing.
If we remove the relationship aspect, sex becomes just technique and you don’t have to look far to find books, magazines and manuals full of how to improve your love life - and relationship is never mentioned. No matter how good our technique is our culture is still lonely - very lonely. There is more sex in our culture today than ever before, and it is not working. We can all get caught up in this trap, and the consequences are devastating. Somewhere God’s beautiful plan for sex got hijacked, and most of us have just stood by and watched.
God has a plan for sex. You don’t have to read far in the Biblical book Song of Solomon to realize it is much more than procreation. Today we use one word for love. I love my i-phone, Taco Bell, and my wife. The Hebrews painted word pictures that told a story. I want to look at what I believe is God’s plan for sex. It consists of building blocks of intimacy and love, and we will look at the first of these next time.
Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »
